i'm frozen by the fear in me if i break the glass then i'll have to fly. there's no one to catch me if i take a dive. • 02/16/87

  She could hear the song whispering it‘s way through the bright yellow walls of her bedroom. Lookin‘ in your eyes, I see a paradise. This world that I found is too good to be true. She dropped the bright pink pencil to the top of her mess of a homework page. Those shining blue eyes looked up for only a moment but not through the mirror directly across from her but into the room where the music was originating from. A sigh left her lips, that moment she knew her sister was just being a giant pain in her butt like she usually was. But the music, the lyrics only drowned out the yelling that could be heard from down the stairs. “She is your sister,“ her mother‘s usually soft voice was strong and explosive. “I don‘t know why we always have to go and save her!“ Janet knew who they were talking of. The one member of their family that always caused both of her parents heartache. Closing her eyes, she breathed in and out. The same way her sister had shown her to do.

  A simple knock against the wall, the music dying off slowly. The corners of her lips turned upward as she heard the knock again. “I‘m sorry,“ Serena‘s voice cut through what felt like an enormous space between them. “I know,“ Janet placed her hand upon the wall only to guess as to where her sister was. “I just don‘t like to hear them fighting.“ It was true on both sides of the wall. Neither of them liked the fighting, the screaming but least of all getting dragged into the horrible mess their Aunt caused. “What do you think she did now?“ The question was a whisper but Serena heard it, she laughed softly which only brought a frown to Janet‘s lips. “Who cares. All I know is I wish she would just go away forever.“ Something in which they both wished would happen.

  The moment ended as quickly as it began. They were in the small volkswagen beetle their mother drove. It was the only vehicle in their family that was large enough to fit all four of them. But instead of being at the wheel like she usually was, their mother was in the passenger seat staring blankly out the window as the rain pounded over their heads. Janet felt a hand reach for her own, the gentle squeeze told her that it was going to be okay. Her gaze caught her sister‘s own matching blue eyes. “It‘ll be fine,“ she said with a small smile. “It‘ll always been okay. Just as long as we‘re together.“

  Then their entire world stood still. The blinding lights of the semi-truck ahead. The swerve of the car as their father tried to avoid the collision. But the plan failed, her head slammed into the window next to her. Serena grabbed her, pulling her into her arms ignoring the pain that surged through her skull. It was the way the car spun in the air. The moment of impact into the ground. Their mother thrown from the car only to be knocked unconscious only a few feet away. Her father still buckled in, gasping for air upside down trying to undo the clasp. A shout left his lips as he turned his head to only see his two daughters no longer in the backseat.

  She wasn‘t too far away, the ground felt cold and wet as the rain pelted her face. Blinking away the pain as she felt the warm liquid blood sliding it‘s way down her forehead, Janet sat up. The rush from sitting up too quickly, caused her hand to touch her head. “Jan... Janet...“ Her name reached her ears in panic. The struggle breath with each word caused her to turn her gaze upon her sister. “Serena!“ She screamed her sister‘s name as she crawled over to her through the mud. “Serena...“ The tears reached her eyes as she pulled the crumble of her sister‘s body into her arms. “It‘s... okay.“ Serena smiled through the pain as she reached up to wipe away the tears forming in her younger sister‘s eyes. “It‘ll be okay,“ Janet saw the glass shard sticking out of her sister‘s lower abdomen. The blood was pouring out of her mixing with the mud below them.

 “Janet,“ Serena‘s voice was cracking through the pain and lack of air reaching her lips. “It‘s not your fault.“ Those words, she clasped her eyes shut as she pulled Serena‘s body into her small arms. “I love you,“ Janet whispered. “Please don‘t go.“ But the plea was heard upon lifeless ears and she knew. She knew the very moment her sister was gone. For the breathing had stopped and her beautiful eyes had glazed over.

  It was the scream, Robert Grey heard the moment he had undone his seatbelt. It was the scream he knew was from his youngest daughter. And it was the very last thing he would ever hear from his daughter as he fell to the roof of his car below him.